Tired
by DerrangedBlonde
Summary: SONGFIC: Linkin Park's "Numb" Kags isn't feeling up to her normal gusto. The problem is simple, everyone wants her to be Kikyo


Tired  
  
By: DB  
  
Disclaimer: I dun own inu and pals, nor "Numb" By Linkin park  
  
The breeze stirred her hair as she looked down into the seemingly endless void of the well. Anger still burned in her heart.  
  
"Why can't I just be me?" She asked softly, bitterness was deeply etched in her soft voice. Even from the beginning of her journey, she was always marked as merely "a reincarnation of the priestess Kikyo". It was like she had no identity.  
  
I'm tired of being what you want me to be  
  
She felt even worse wearing the miko clothing like she was at that moment. Her clothes had been torn far beyond repair from the last battle. It just wasn't fair! Why did she have to be someone else? Why wasn't she good enough for anyone? Why did Inuyasha keep going after Kikyo?  
  
Sometimes, it just seemed like everyone wanted something out of her. They always assumed she'd be great simply because she was the rebirth of someone who was actually great. Kagome... was just... "A reincarnation" Her own identity was buried and nothing she ever did was right.  
  
I'm tired of being what you want me to be;  
  
Feeling so faithless Lost under the surface.  
  
Don't know what you're expecting of me.  
  
Put under the pressure Of walking in your shoes  
  
(Caught in the undertow Just caught in the undertow)  
  
Every step that I take Is another mistake to you  
  
(Caught in the undertow Just caught in the undertow)  
  
She didn't notice the wetness on her cheeks as that void became ever more familiar. Nor did she hear the rustling of leaves made by Inuyasha as he approached. Somewhere in her mind, she knew he was there. He always was, wasn't he? She felt so tired of this all. It was a novel adventure but... Maybe it was time to just give up and go home. There she was Kagome pure and simple. Home, she didn't have to be more like Kikyo. She wanted to be as different as she could be.  
  
I've become so numb I can't feel you there  
  
I've become so tired So much more aware  
  
I'm becoming this All I want to do  
  
Is be more like me And be less like you  
  
He put his hand on her shoulder. "Kagome..." He knew she was both angry and sad. He could feel it. "Come on, let's go back. Sitting out in the middle of a forest isn't too bright ya know. Kaede still has archery lessons to teach you so you can get as good as Kikyo. Come on Kagome! Stop moping around."  
  
She looked at him incredulously over her shoulder. Couldn't he see she wasn't in the mood for archery? Was he deaf to his own words? Kikyo... oh how she hated that name! He grabbed her arm and held it tightly. "Kagome come on!" He tugged her a little bit and frowned at her when she didn't move. "What?"  
  
"Is that what you want Inuyasha? If I'm not good enough, why don't you just go back to the actual Kikyo?! I can't be a priestess Inuyasha!"  
  
"Sure you can be. Just suck it up and stop acting like such a damn child! The world isn't going to stop and fucking cry for you because you're having a hard time. Now come on."  
  
"No Inuyasha. I'm going home. Screw archery, screw being a priestess, screw Kikyo and SCREW YOU! I can't take it anymore! I'm sick of this! I don't expect the world to be sorry for me... but I do think they should atleast realize I AM MY OWN PERSON!"  
  
Can't you see that you're smothering me?  
  
Holding too tightly, Afraid to lose control.  
  
Cause everything that you thought I would be  
  
Has fallen apart right in front of you  
  
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)  
  
Every step that I take is another mistake to you  
  
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)  
  
And every second I waste is more than I can take  
  
She tore her arm free from his grasp and climbed onto the edge of the well. Inuyasha was completely dumfounded by her outburst and merely watched as she jumped into the well.  
  
~  
  
Kagome had spent endless hours in her room after that. The sun was beginning to set, casting a warm orange glow into her room. She was out of tears to cry, so she just lay there silently. Her curtains moved softly back and forth with the breeze from her open window.  
  
Inuyasha hadn't come.  
  
He didn't tell her that he liked her for who she was.  
  
She was miserable. She could hear her mother's voice, not the words but just the sound. Was it dinner? She wasn't hungry. Was she worried? It didn't matter. Was Inuyasha there? Ha! Unlikely.  
  
Atleast she was doing something Kikyo would never be caught doing. That was a little reassuring.  
  
I've become so numb I can't feel you there  
  
I've become so tired so much more aware  
  
I'm becoming this all I want to do  
  
Is be more like me and be less like you  
  
But it just wasn't the same. She knew it.  
  
And I know  
  
She couldn't escape Kikyo. Kikyo was who she was more or less. She couldn't win.  
  
I may end up failing too  
  
With Inuyasha pushing her to be great, with him behind her, she couldn't escape it. She knew, somewhere that Kikyo had to have felt like her.  
  
But I know  
  
The miko must have been taught from someone. She must have felt bitter at only being someone's shadow.  
  
You were just like me  
  
Kagome knew Kikyo wasn't perfect. She must have screwed up and been reprimanded.  
  
With someone disappointed in you  
  
Somehow, the knowledge made her even worse. They were all too alike.  
  
"Kagome?" Inuyasha said softly. He'd been standing at her window for 10 minutes.  
  
Why didn't she notice? He was quiet, but not that quiet. He padded over and sat on the bed next to her, reaching out cautiously. "I'm... um.. I.. uh... sorry."  
  
She raised her head and looked back over her shoulder at him and smiled slightly. It felt so... fake. "It's okay." Because it was.  
  
Inuyasha grinned. "Come on... let's go back."  
  
She rubbed her eyes and nodded. "Sure." The fake smile stayed in place. She secretly made a promise to herself as she reached for Inuyasha's hand. 'I may end up being a priestess like you, kikyo.' She leaned up and kissed Inuyasha on the cheek before they leapt out of the window. 'But I swear I'll never want to kill the man I love, I promise I'll never become as cold as you...'  
  
I've become so numb I can't feel you there  
  
I've become so tired so much more aware  
  
I'm becoming this all I want to do  
  
Is be more like me and be less like you 


End file.
